Sunday, October 30, 2011

Time to Rap it UP

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Stress Defense Mechanisms

As with anything that I ever write, I say what I learn from experience.
And even though I don't consider myself to be a 'stressed out' person, in general, this year has thrown me the most 'stress-provoking' situations and circumstances. From losing too many people close to me than I ever thought was possible in one year, to beginning my second and last year at a JC and feeling the immense pressure of transferring on-time, to learning how to strengthen my mind & be independent and standing on my own two feet--let's just say I've been doing a lot of 'getting-out-of-my-comfort-zone' and understanding what it takes to really survive and get what you want and need in this world. This cold, cold world.

Whenever I'm going through any kind of stressful or painful time, I'm constantly aware the stages my mind goes through. Which is why I feel my consciousness is what made me to become a writer, it only makes sense.

But, I noticed the natural process of my mind, at least, is, when my brain becoming too congested and too much stress or pressure may be on me, it acts out a defense mechanism that reverts my mind back to my childhood. My mind will automatically bring me back to the 'little girl' dreams or fantasies or memories when we were kids. The innocent, untouched, pure dreams we envisioned when we were younger. The other day, I was sitting and reading a homework assignment for English class and, I honestly do love most of the readings, but this particular one was extremely bland; tasteless. I caught myself putting down my book and going to find my old 'junk box', and picking out my old Lizzie McGuire book. (Don't judge me). I smiled, reminiscing on the now, odd and funny idea that I used to literally be OBSESSED with Hilary Duff and her show when I was about-oh, 9 and 10 years old. I opened up and started reading--it was one of those play-by-play episode books--and remembering how much we used to love simple plot stories as young kids.

I guess when it really comes down to it, it's the natural simplicity we miss. The simplicity that we now have to create, as adults.

This whole process, I believe is our mind's defense mechanism to stress--sometimes we need to revert back to our childhood 'good ol' days' or call up our old best friend--it is for alleviation and relief. Like an Advil you pop, and everything seems a little better. I wonder if others experience this too.. it could be a survival tool. Maybe some don't utilize this tool and ignore or reject the natural instinct? Maybe not everyone really goes through this or is fully conscious to recognize their childhood desires or nostalgia? Could it be just me?